A Look Back [Grade Two]: A Magical World (Part I)

Here is what my writing was like in Grade Two, a year after I began writing. It is fun to laugh at the incredible mistakes I made, and the lack of knowledge I had of the English language. The obvious naïveté is also interesting to observe.

A Magical World: Sam's Life!

Part I: The Castle

Hi! My name is Sam. I pretty much don't like my family. There's rules everywhere! I'm not even allowed to jump on the couch. It's unfair! I wish there were no rules. And if there were no rules, my life would be prefect. I woke up next morning. It was beautiful. But I had a plan. A brilliant plan. Tonight I will run away from home. I played, had breakfast, played, didn't bother about lunch, played, had dinner and went to bed. I stay awake until... Snap! The light just automatically turned off. I can't help it. I must... Hor shoo, hor shoo.

Yet again I woke up. This morning is a bit different. The air is all dusty. The day went by so quickly and it's already night time. That means it's time for my runaway. I hid from table to chair, from chair to couch to wall to door. I carefully slid up the door. I quietly opened the oor. It made a loud CREACH! Few! no one woke up. I opened the door a little bit more. Mum came out of he room. "What's all the noise?!" She asked in a terrorfied voice.

I ran, ran for my life, out the door, down the path, up a hill, East, forward, West. At least I think I went that way. OOOPS! Now I know what I for-got. My compass! "Oh well, I'll follow the sun once it comes up. Until then, I'll follow the moon for five minutes and have a sleep until the sun comes up. Good night world.

Ah! Rise and shine. I had a BIG STRECH, and then walked along the path again. It was a beautiful bright sunny morning. The sun was shining brightly ["brightly" has rays drawn around it] in my eyes. I carefully followed the sun since I forgot my compass. At I did the same thing for seven days and a night. "AH! It's nice to be away from home for a change. There's no rules out here in the open." I looked up at the sky. I looked down again. I looked back up. a "OH I MY GOD!" "There is a HUGE Castle right in front of me! NO! REALY! I'M SERIOUS" I went up to the Caste door. I very slowly go for the handle. BOING! I weakly flung back. Ow! I got up. The doors flung open. I fell back. "Don't be afraid," A voice said in amazement. "Come inside," It was a pretty small room compared to how big the Castle was. The only thing in the room was an old rusty picture hanging on the wall. The voice said, "BIARA BULA!" The picture opened. "WHAT DID YOU JUST DO!," I yelled.
"Well, I just said the password for the portrait."
I slowly calmed down and walked I through the portrait. An old a but tall looking man came up to me. He said,
"Hello Sam," He said.
"How did you know my name was Sam?" I asked
"I'm a phsicic, but anyway I'll tell you what you'r here for later. Until then you should have a look around."

I saw a door in the corner. I went up and opened it. There was a button on the far side of the room.
I forgot what the old man said and pressed the buttton. Spikes came out of the walls and they threatened to close in on me. The old man came in and said
"BREESEN BUA! The spikes dissapeared and the walls widened. You can't obay obey the Castle rules, I guess you won't obey the spell-bounding spell-binding rules. I suggest you come back next year.

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zellakate said...

Hehe This was cool, Ryan! Thanks for sharing! I must say, I know this isn't very polished, but this is advanced writing for a child of that age. You showed early promise! :)

I remember my first short story, written at about the same time. It was terrible! Cliched with nonsensical characters and a melodramatic plot. All of the characters were French yet had British names. *heads desk*

Ryan Sullivan said...

Those are the best kinds of stories, Zella. :D

There are two more parts to this story from Sam's point of view, and then a re-run of the story from Peter's point of view. I started Ashley's but it never went anywhere.

I was wondering if you'd like to see the rest of Sam's story and Peter's as a new series of posts? Not consecutive, of course.

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Welcome to The Dark Corner of the Mind. My name is Ryan Sullivan and my aim with this blog is to help others with their own writing, as well as to make note of some of my own writing endeavours.

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