When your characters make the decisions

I wrote a section where Faine scouts ahead, taking the two horses for a run, and Saera wakes Eoin and pretends that Faine was taken during the night, as well as the two horses they have been travelling with.

Eoin crossed the road to where Saera slept on the grass and Faine slept with his back propped against the rock’s side. When Eoin whispered his name, his eyes shot open. Before Eoin could say anything, Faine nodded, got up and crossed the road.

Eoin lay on his side so his sheath would not disturb his comfort, but it was disturbed regardless by stones and twigs. He shuffled around until he lay once more on his stomach, and drifted to sleep.


Eoin woke at the sun's rising to someone shaking him. He blinked several times, then looked up at Saera with squinted eyes. Her hands were clasped together in front of her and Eoin could see the whites of her knuckles.

"It's Faine," she said. "I don't know where he is. I think he was taken while we were asleep."

Eoin shot up. Faine was neither over the road where he should have been taking watch, nor on this side where he would otherwise have been sleeping. Eoin ran across the road and searched for any signs as to what had happened. He found no prints in the dirt. No disruption of the leaves. No signs of a struggle. Eoin looked up the road in search of a track. He found the trails of two horses leading along the road and around a corner, behind the trees. The horses Eoin, Saera and Faine had taken from the cart had been tied up, but now they were both gone.

“That’s it!” said Eoin. “They’ve taken Faine and the horses. We’ve got no protection and no steeds."

The thing now is, I'm not sure if Saera's really joking, or if Faine's actually been taken. I think, logically in the story world, he could only be taken if first tranquilised. So I feel I should leave it as just Saera joking around. It's a strange scene because it builds tension (I hope; I can never tell) and we believe what Eoin believes, but then Saera laughs and Faine comes back down the road with the horses.

Random Fantasy Title Brainstorm: Footsteps.

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Welcome to The Dark Corner of the Mind. My name is Ryan Sullivan and my aim with this blog is to help others with their own writing, as well as to make note of some of my own writing endeavours.

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